If you’re wondering what contributes to family recovery from alcohol or other drug use…
This is the Vesta Approach Family Recovery Pathway.
How I work with all my clients, sometimes in different programmes an parts of service.
Through many years of specialising in familial substance use, I know that these aspects will create a sustained change and a better life for those I support.
It doesn’t always take a few months. It’s about clarity, consistency and having the confidence to IMPLEMENT the strategies and changes that we explore in sessions.
The outcomes I have seen are fantastic for my clients and I wanted to share just how you can have a look at this yourself.
I’ll break this down for you…
YOU are the most important person in family recovery. The focus of recovery needs to be on the person getting the help, not on the person using the substance. Yes, it’s important to reflect on how your loved one’s alcohol/drug use has affected you, but you can’t control that can you? So we want to focus on what you can control and what you can change, which is you, your choices, our boundaries, how you choose to communicate.. Is this easy? Nope. With help and support, we can take you on this journey.
For now, think about how your loved one’s substance use has affected you and any changes that you can make to start putting yourself first.
FAMILY is where we focus on the impact on the family, including children and start looking to create some changes, because this is something that family members CAN do. It is so easy to allow your loved one’s addiction to take over everything. But you can make a decision. Are you going to try and live your life, regardless of the choices your loved one makes? Are you going to put your own needs first or those of your children? Are there any ways you can continue with family life even if your loved one is intoxicated?
Journal on this and write down your thoughts.
KNOWLEDGE involves sharing/ learning the facts around substance use, about the support that is out there, about research and key information about specific substances. It’s really important to have a look at reliable sources for information. For example, if you want to know about a particular drug, have a look at Drugscience. If you want to find out about family support in your area, have a look at ADFAM or contact your local recovery service and ask them what they provide.
Go and check these sources out and make notes if you find that helpful.
SKILLS are what I teach, in terms of the strategies that can INFLUENCE a change in a loved one’s alcohol or drug using behaviour. I work with my clients by teaching strategies to cope.
You can grab my top ten tips here.
But here is the lowdown…
- Understand recovery
- Set healthy boundaries
- Reward your loved one when they are sober
- Communicate without kick-offs
- Help without enabling
- Withdraw when your loved one is intoxicated!
HEALTH is where we focus on those basic needs that most people are unable to do, even though we all know about it. This includes mental, physical and spiritual health. This is important so family members have the groundwork to build their resilience.
If you create 3 columns on a piece of paper, with the following headers, write down anything that you can do to improve your own health. Pick one and work on it this week.
PURPOSE is where we work on roles and purpose in life. This can easily get forgotten with the stress of helping a family member/friend or partner living with a loved one’s addiction.
Think about any roles you have at home or at work (parent/partner/child/manager). Are you fulfilling your own purpose in these roles? Is there anything that needs to change?
I hope that helps.
Reach out to me if you need help on your family recovery journey.
Call/WhatsApp/Text on mobile: 07984 837302
I can help.